THE WEEKLY STALKER: Banana Week

Okay, so, we are adding a NEW WEEKLY FEATURE TO THE SITE! It's called the Weekly Stalker and I will be posting updates of my stalking missions. Currently, I am stalking my cougar friend's 6th grade 'friend' and I wrote him a letter. Here it is:

Note: Names will be taken out of this to protect the innocent.

*****,

i know that is ur name b/c i just no things. i dont no ur last name, but i no u live in yonkers. ur in the 6th grade at PEARLS Hawthorne School in Yonkers. You're friends with a girl named *********. And you think some girl named ***** is pretty. Yeah. I no things. And i also no that for XMas or Hanukkah (Whichever u celebrate. i dont no that much) u will b recieving a mong in the mail. If you want to no wat a mong is ask ur dear friend ****. she nos things 2. well, i just thot id inform you that ur yummy. and im goin 2 eat ur intestines and arteries. yes. i will cook them up, marinate them, eat them, digest them, and then well... u no... The leftovers will b given to my flesh eating rabbit. yes. hey, dont judge me, i need 2 feed it SUMTHING. so ya. b wise. and dont cross me. b wise... but now i must go. because the time is rite...


the time...



ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!


yes. yes it is.

ur stalker,
*****

p.s. ask **** 2 show u the pix after my 'incident'
p.p.s. u r not my 1st victim. my 1st was ****** *******. u may no him. he sumhow got away from me tho. i miss my ramen noodles... 

Day 2: Banana Week

Here's today's WTF, dedicated 2 my very kuku friend (u no hu u r lolz ;) )

LOLZ. YES IT B PNUT BUTTA JELLEE TIME 2NITE LOLZ.

Also, my kuku friend wanted me 2 tell u guys that bananas dont hav seeds.
Cuz she got points off of a test 4 sayin that.
And she b unhappeh.
Yes.

Day 1: BANANA WEEK!!!

THAT'S RIGHT!!!! IT'S BANANA WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!

Note: This week was specially requested. If you want to request a week, COMMENT!!! Or just contact me another way. Yes.

Here's today's WTF:

It's not exactly all about bananas. But still. It's hard to not get this song stuck in your head. You may already know that if you visit this site often. After all, it's on the site playlist. Also, these guys' accents make them say BANANAS funny! In the beg lolz. It's so demented. This song is officially my lover. Lol.

Mailbag: Fail Week

Here is the Mailbag for Fail Week:

CW of NYC:

today in english ms gildersleeve (actually her full name is elizabeth gildersleeve alviar and she almost made us call her ms. gildersleeve alviar lol) brought in an artichoke to illustrate the poem Ode to and Artichoke by Pablo Neruda. She then walked around class holding an artichoke and we had a serious discussion about it. and right now (as i suspected) a guy on my contact lists status is: a woman is like an artichoke: you have to spend time making your way into the heart.

How cliche is that.

also plz plz plz contribute to the wtf blog. if you are worthy enough to get her begging email then you are crazy enough to appreciate the wtf things in life. 

Now, ppl, I know what ur thinking. Ur probably thinking that I made CW up to make u feel like this blog actually has people who look at it. But no, I actually didn't. How great is this person? Thank you CW! I think YOU should all follow in CW's example! And yes, once again, I mean YOU Alfredo.

P.S. What are you talking about? I didn't send a begging email... hehehe...

Day 7: Fail Week

Well, today is, sadly, the last day of Fail Week. And here is the last FAIL:

PARENTING FAILS:

Day 6: Fail Week

Here is today's WTF:

I want to put up TWO today so here they are:

Day 5: Fail Week

With fail week drawing to a close, here is today's WTF:

Either these are really demented, tortured, losing-their-innocenc, schizophrenic babies (Nvm about the schizophrenic part. I just wanted to put that in there to see if I could spell it right. And I did. TWICE!). Or the parents are really desperate for the role/job/whatever.

Day 4: Fail Week

Here is today's WTF:

I remember when I was a young child (yeah here I go) I took swim lessons at the community pool. I remember there was this sign that showed this guy diving into the shallow end and he ended up in a wheelchair. Of coarse, being about 5, I didn't really know what it meant. So, being the person that I am even today, instead of asking an adult what it meant, I just assumed that sign was saying that if you jumped into a pool you will be abducted by wheelchairs. So, I went around telling all of the other kids that. Yeah, I think you can already tell how that turned out...

Day 3: Fail Week

Here's today's WTF:

It took me a few secs to get this, but when I did I started cracking up very loudly. And it woke people in my house up! Note: I will not mention who they are for they fear of online stalker/rapists like the nuns of Playboy Nuns and they give them HIVES!!!

Yeah...

So, did YOU get it? Comment!